When This Temple Shall Lay to Rest by Olatubosun David


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Master Critic

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Post May 07, 2018, 09:21:19 PM

When This Temple Shall Lay to Rest by Olatubosun David

Man, what a mouthful just writing the subject line. Just the name, Olatubosun sounds like a poem by itself, especially when David is added.

Anyway, this poem was great for many reasons. The main reason I really liked this piece was how the author used English words to do his will and not let the words submit to them.

Words have a way of taking away from what the author wants to say but instead follows the stupid rules some idiots in some English department at some fancy university decided that a writer must follow. A true writer makes the rules and writes using any language, any word, anything and all as he/she/it decides to express. This is the success for writing and definitely not some 'set' format beaten into students of writing all around the globe.

Along with his beating the words into submission, the content/feel of the poem was most excellent for this reader.

Good job, Olatubosun.

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Post May 08, 2018, 07:18:29 AM

Re: When This Temple Shall Lay to Rest by Olatubosun David

Thank you, Lipinski, for your interest and time. I'm encouraged.
You may kindly add me on Facebook for a talk.
Olatubosun Eniloluwa David

Thanks again

Master Critic

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Post May 08, 2018, 10:18:55 PM

Re: When This Temple Shall Lay to Rest by Olatubosun David

I say it as I see it and I say you have a cool name: Olatuboson Eniloluwa David. If you don't mind me asking, is there any special meaning to the first two names? Like, 'One who hunts tigers, or catches fish with bare hands'? I think my first name means, 'one who eats a lot' while Lipinski is a word for tree.

Anyway, I digress (again)

You're welcome, as your poem caught my mind very easily and I greatly enjoyed it. Actually, all the poetry here on Aphelion is pretty good in my opinion but there are some like yours that rise above the norm.

As to Facebook... While I have an account I never use it. (I started it because someone started an account in my name pretending to be me...Yikes! Me? They'd be better off trying to be someone interesting, such as the guy working at the local sewer plant)

Anyway, I have an immensely strong opinion about Facebook... In MY opinion, it is a huge, highly overated, intrusive, power hungry, money-generating, politically motivated company that if it fell off the face of the earth tomorrow, I would take a month off from work and celebrate! Of course, all in my humble opinion. Aphelion is a MUCH better place for writers to talk and communicate than a site that posts pictures of people's cats drowning in ketchup or the ten billion baby picture showing junior throwing up after eating their first pop tart.

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Post May 10, 2018, 06:06:02 AM

Re: When This Temple Shall Lay to Rest by Olatubosun David

You have beautiful names, Lipinski, I love them. Well, most Africa names carry such beautiful and heavy meanings. Olatubosun means "wealth spreads" and Eniloluwa also means "one who has God"

I see we can be good friends. Thank you.

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Post May 10, 2018, 11:08:49 AM

Re: When This Temple Shall Lay to Rest by Olatubosun David

[quote="Lipinski"]This poem was great for many reasons. The main reason I really liked this piece was how the author used English words to do his will and not let the words submit to them.


Good job, Olatubosun

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Post May 24, 2018, 05:27:10 AM

Re: When This Temple Shall Lay to Rest by Olatubosun David

Hello!

May I suggest an alternate reading!?

"This temple shall lay to rest
And temple bird shall flew
To dreamland beyond the seas
...
Then cry no cry and shed no tears
Death makes me triumph over death."

Was the Egyptian Temple Bird, who channels Death, anywhere in mind!?

:idea:

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Post May 26, 2018, 08:07:15 AM

Re: When This Temple Shall Lay to Rest by Olatubosun David

Thank you TaoPhoenix

I never heard anything like Egyptian temple bird before now. I am hearing it for the first time. I have only used the language as it occurred to me.

Thanks for your time.

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