When Blood Freezes By Mitch Wyatt


Tell us what you thought about the August 2005 issue!

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Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Post September 02, 2005, 12:46:17 AM

Re: When Blood Freezes By Mitch Wyatt

Yeah, that was about my fourth try at a beginning. I was having major show/tell issues throughout the whole story, because I had an entire world in mind, and I wasn't sure how divulge it in a way that didn't burn words.<br><br>Also, I'm worried that if I back the camera up too far I'll lose some of the personality I worked on for Tal.<br><br>But I know I need a new beginning. Actually, now that I think about it, the incarnation published here has an older version in it of the beginning. I deleted a lot of that superfluous stuff in the beginning "including the 'anyway'. Also I think I fixed those errors. My bad for not changing it when I got the letter back. I tend to work on stories as I get rejection letters.<br><br>Also, good idea about the surrounding woods, I should mention something there.<br><br>And what about the style was "clunky"? You think the 3rd person limited POV didn't work too well? I tried being innovative with the whole "two types of thinking" thing, but I always worried it wasn't really worth it.<br><br>Anyway thanks a lot for reading and everything.<br><br>-Mitch

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Posts: 2

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Post September 02, 2005, 11:07:28 PM

Re: When Blood Freezes By Mitch Wyatt

You're right. I think I can get it down to 2 paragraphs before the action (instead of 2 pages). I feel kind of ashamed I didn't pick up on the show/tell problems earlier.<br><br>Oh well at least everyone is saying the same thing.<br><br>I should really read some of the other stories on here, don't want to take advantage or anything :)<br><br>

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