Welcome To Hell By Diana Rohlman


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Post August 09, 2005, 01:37:26 PM

Welcome To Hell By Diana Rohlman

Sent shivers up and down my spine. Well described settings, though I think there'd be some mention of the sulfurous gasses, etc. <br>My only stopper while I was reading was that it took me about 2 seconds too long to realize that the woman who had called 911 had died. I don't know what to recommend about that section, but you may want to look at re-wording a couple of lines right there. If I paused there, your average reader might also.<br>The rest of the story flew right on. Nothing interrupted the flow. Very nice work. Could have been a bit longer, to suit me. A bit more details about his victims is a possibility you should consider. If you said all you wanted to say Diana, that's fine. As a reader, I came away wanting just a little bit more. Not a whole 'nother story, but just a little more explanation of his few most significant victims. Something to make his torture more meaningful. <br>Dan<br>
Last edited by Vila on August 09, 2005, 01:37:56 PM, edited 1 time in total.
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Post August 14, 2005, 12:36:51 AM

Welcome To Hell By Diana Rohlman

<br>don't think there was anything unclear about Vikten's young female victim, we were told of the smoke curling etc, so it made sense that he offed her while she was on the phone.<br><br>not a big fan of hell stories at all, and Diana's, while indeed well written and smooth, wasn't for me. the theme itself isn't appealing. this entry felt too much like a twilight zone (new version) episode, and i wasn't intrigued at all because of my own personal lack of interest in bad guys going to hell. could be due to sensing that i'm heading there myself. however, it's hard to generate suspense when you're talking about the after life coz it's such a well-covered topic. it has to be something real shocking, or real gory, to pique people's blood-thirsty interest.<br><br>while i usually don't expect "more" from a story (preferring to read it as provided), there's one point that could have helped lift Diana's work here from the typical gone-to-rot caper: purgatory. i'd focus in that instead of the victims grinning at their tormentor. or was it the other way around?<br><br>Lee
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Post October 03, 2005, 10:45:12 PM

Re: Welcome To Hell By Diana Rohlman

I enjoyed this story. Well-written and the pacing seemed about right. It’s difficult having an unsympathetic protagonist. He either has to be extremely interesting or victimized by a reader-pleasing karmic moment.<br><br>There aren’t any real surprises here, so the plot seems a bit stale, as Lee points out. Nevertheless, I found it a nice read.
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