Post June 14, 2017, 02:27:53 PM

"Beyond the Blade" Jarrett Mazza

Well, I've been absent for a while, but what a delightful story to return to.

If you're looking for criticism, some of your sentences seemed a little awkward. "After the boys disposed of the sword, Ryan and Matthew were walking through the school foyer, and along the way, passed by a statue that served as the center point and symbolic representation of the school’s namesake and history." Just as an example. It's long, and might work better broken up into several shorter sentences.

That's just, you know, if you're looking for something to improve though. It was a fun story to read. Well done, Jarrett!