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Beyond Scope by R.W. Warwich

PostPosted: November 16, 2016, 09:49:25 AM
by Megawatts
Nice short one that reminds me of the old Twilight Zone and Outer Limits in its content. The theme of “Beyond Scope” was a popular one during the 1950's.

The opening to the story got my attention, and the remainder of the beginning held it. Good word choices, nice sentence lengths with clarity.

The dialogue worked and the characters seemed real enough. I like how the story showed that Canton was neglected rather than tell it, and how Canton wasn’t sure if torture were the reason!

I read somewhere once that if you encounter intelligent beings but are unable to communicate with them, draw a right triangle! Since math is universal, a right triangle should be a common symbol among intelligent life, and it will be recognized that only another intelligence would understand its significance. So if I were Canton, I would have drew one if I could have. I’m sure many eyeballs would be popping out at that one!

I can’t think of any meaningful suggestions. Maybe a little more sensory input, but that’s easy to say about any story. I would have liked to hear the name of the shuttle since names add to the poignancy of a story.

Good story!!

Very nice Job!

Re: Beyond Scope by R.W. Warwich

PostPosted: November 16, 2016, 10:45:21 PM
by KateStuart
I agree! This totally reminded me of sci-fi from the 1940s and 50s, and I loved it for that.

I completely believed the little boy finding Commander Wye and hiding him in hamster cage. So much something a kid would do.

The story really didn't paint human scientists in a very positive light though. I didn't think it was very realistic on that point. It's one thing to have a kid hide a tiny alien and unintentionally torture his new "pet," but it's quite another to think that adult scientists -- at least some of whom have dreamed of the day when they will make first contact since they knew what that meant -- would do nothing more than experiment on the poor guy. I mean this guy is from outer space! Space travel!!!

Poor humans! I think maybe that doesn't work out for them very well when the Sovereign comes with his more advanced science!

Re: Beyond Scope by R.W. Warwich

PostPosted: January 22, 2017, 10:39:30 PM
by RWWarwick
Hello,

Thank you so much for your feedback, it really means a lot. It's very difficult to get feedback on a meaningful level when you're starting out, as i'm sure everybody knows. While I was writing the story, it never occurred to me that it was reminiscent of the pulp style of the 40's and 50's, but I really see it now.

I thought a lot about your feedback while I was writing a sequel to this, and most importantly, I tried not to take myself too seriously. The sequel follows on immediately from this one, maybe I should submit it here!


Thanks again for your encouragement.