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"Jamie's Revenge" by George T. Philibin

PostPosted: October 09, 2016, 02:05:30 PM
by KateStuart
This is one of those stories that doesn't seem like much at first. The beginning is a little awkward and slow, and, being a girl, I've never been much into male-bonding stories. They just never seem to have much to do with me.

But, once I started I found I couldn't put the story down and before I even knew it, I'd read the whole thing. What better sign that a story is good than forgetting that the real world exists?

I wasn't a big fan of the scene where Kyra gets pissed off about the MC wanting a little guy-time. It seemed unnecessary, and what self-respecting girl begrudges her boyfriend the occasional night out with the guys? And, as the editor, I can say it'd be nice if Mr. Philibin spent a little more time copy-editing his work.

But the story itself is solid. Good characters, interesting twists, nice details: I particularly liked the description in the beginning of the birds, and then at the end of Jamie in his transformed body. The villain family is wonderful, and Jamie makes both a terrifying and tragic monster.

Re: "Jamie's Revenge" by George T. Philibin

PostPosted: October 09, 2016, 03:47:51 PM
by kailhofer
I thought Kate had good notes on this one. There were really excellent descriptions engaging the senses, and I, too got hooked.

In fact, I liked all the parts of it except one: how easily Jamie was able to get free and turn the tables. For them to fall so quickly to Jamie's might, it seemed improbable that over all these years no other opportunity had presented itself.

Other than that, good job!