Hunting Season by Boomer


Tell us what you thought about the October 2005 issue!

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Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

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Post November 11, 2005, 05:22:50 PM

Hunting Season by Boomer

I enjoyed this piece for the most part. It stumbled a bit when we switched POV to the political flunkies, but Boomer retracked the story by remaining with the protagonist. This is an example where rapid POV shifts work well to drive the story along. Great action, really held my attention.<br><br>I did have some issues:<br><br>(1) Too many typos! That could cost you a paid publication.<br><br>(2) I would've found Andrew far more compelling had he not been rejuvenated. It would've been great had an old ex-SAS warrior had to reach deep to recall his training in order to survive. With the action laid as such, it would've been truly harrowing as Andrew struggled to engage the enemy while dealing with the physical limitations that come with age (I understand that this has implications for key aspects of the story, but I think ultimately, the plot points could be revised so this worked).<br><br>(3) Quibble: can 300 soldiers effectively surround a game preserve? Maybe with advanced surveillance gear and bitchin' command and control. <br><br>(4) The ending didn't seem organic. I guess having everything explained so lucidly and tied up so neatly was a let down. <br><br>Dan E.

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Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Orange County - California

Post November 12, 2005, 04:04:42 AM

Re: Hunting Season by Boomer

Thanks for the input and observations Dan, they are very helpful. I will take another look at the story for typos. I've lost count of the number of times I've edited this, even with large font size (400%), but I still can't see them all. I'll just have to try and find an editor I guess, as I seem to end up putting for in than I take out after a while.<br><br>As to the age issue. What can I say? In a way, this started as an 'abduction' story with a twist. Keeping him the same age (65) wouldn't have worked at the end, but as you say, it would have been interesting to explore the possibilities. What I wanted to do was explore the reactions and actions of a fairly ordinary man in an unusual situation, and the two different POV as seen from inside and outside the action. I hope I managed to hide the fact he was on a different plant, and who was hunting him, also what the reaction of the authorities would be to the situation. As to the ending. Being an engineer, I like things neat and tidy with no loose ends or unanswered questions, unlike some stories I've read. Thanks for the review it was worth waiting for. Boomer<br>

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