Rococo by the Bay by David Alan Jones


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Post October 15, 2005, 12:16:52 PM

Rococo by the Bay by David Alan Jones

<br>gotta love these short shorts, and as they go, Rococo was awesome. i think we have a William Gibson in the house, really saw much of the cyberpunkster's influence herein. the language, harsh, machine-gun dialogue and action all fit well, but the ending was a bit too low-key and sudden, even for me.<br>the sawdust was a tantalizing touch...wonder what it was? a drug? kinda like that angel dust-lookalike from Robocop? at first the exchange between the two Blade Runners (heh) and Purn confused me, but upon seond read it clicked into place. very enjoyable!<br><br>Lee

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Post October 16, 2005, 06:43:26 PM

Re: Rococo by the Bay by David Alan Jones

This started off strong but suffered from some overwriting. Much of the metaphorical language was great--really great writing. But it felt crow-barred into this piece in some places. <br><br>Lotta potential with these characters, and the bit of apparent ESP in the opening scene was a nice touch. Further, David offered some compelling details indicating a story to be told of Tom's past.<br><br>If Reese was to be some kind of poet-warrior, with the juxtaposition of his language and balls-out fighting style, it didn't quite gel for me, and I think it was mostly a function of his voice--too, I dunno, bard-ish to ring true for me.<br><br>And it did just kind of end, which I attribute to the sense that this screams to be a much longer piece (and may very well have been culled from something longer, I dunno). <br><br>David has proven to be a talented writer (eg, check out Of Blood and Fire lest anyone doubt me), clearly one who belongs in print (I would read it anyway), but this piece needs a bit of restraint in terms of metaphorical language.<br><br>Dan E.

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Post October 18, 2005, 12:33:11 PM

Rococo by the Bay by David Alan Jones

<br>you never know Dan, as you're most assuredly are familair with, ending stories in infinitely trickier than starting them. i guess David kinda gave up on trying to elaborate or something. i'd second what you said tho: this cries out for novelization!<br><br>Lee

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Post November 11, 2005, 09:43:30 AM

Re: Rococo by the Bay by David Alan Jones

Thanks much for the comments. From the very few responses I got on this one, I feel that it must be lacking in something. Sometimes stories just don't draw reader interest. I'll try something else ;D
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Post November 13, 2005, 03:07:34 AM

Re: Rococo by the Bay by David Alan Jones

I thought this was a fairly good story. Short yet lyrical. I just watched Sin City on dvd, so this one sort of resonated with me.<br><br>David has a very fluid style. He’s one of the most natural writers I’ve read on Aphelion, and that’s quite a compliment. I’ll need to go back and read his Of Blood and Fire since I missed it (I got married that month... yeah, I know, lame excuse ::)).<br>
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Post November 14, 2005, 12:32:55 PM

Rococo by the Bay by David Alan Jones

come on Dave, wouldn't say it's lacking, read what we said: overall a great short, mostly the end was left wanting.<br><br>Lee

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