Story: Time Amok by J. Eckert Lytle


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Post August 05, 2015, 02:00:27 PM

Story: Time Amok by J. Eckert Lytle

This time the opener is :

"The fog was thick that November night in 1888. A low, crackling hum and a faint bluish glow invaded the cold, moist alley of Brandy Street just north of Bucks Row in the Whitechapel district of East London."

That's really good, because even without the tag line in the magazine, someone with a good grasp of history will notice it didn't say "on a cold dark night", but wheeled off "1888 ... Whitechapel" and know that something messed up with Jack the Ripper is going to go on!

Let's go see what it is...

As someone who is drilling through stories, flash has to "get in and out" in a tight format. Short stories can "sorta do whatever they want". Whether it's scrolling a mouse or flipping pages in the old days, I like to get a sense of the raw length, because that factors highly into pacing.

So we get a fairly linear plot reveal:

""This might be difficult for you to comprehend, but..." she took a deep breath and blurted, "I am from the future, and I have come here to find and kill Jack the Ripper.""

But trouble here!

""Yes, I am. Anyway, we're doing a thesis on cause and effect in history, and we're planning to eliminate evil people down through the past. Then we'll record a before and after chart of the history on our PC--""

*Very Dangerous*! I am reminded of the epic "hand waving" in the final season opener of Warehouse 13, because they have to get tuning forks to keep "them in the same timeline" and then Pete says later "lalalalala no time travel stuff! It always makes my head hurt!"

So we don't yet know how this woman is somehow "out of time" like a "timeline null" or something!

But it's hand-waved. So far so good.

The agent get sloppy though! So now we have a killer in the future...

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Post August 20, 2015, 09:03:19 AM

Re: Story: Time Amok by J. Eckert Lytle

An interesting story about Jack the Ripper, and one that I enjoyed reading.

A good intro in which the reader’s attention is grabbed---- one of the most important attributes that a story needs. Once the intro gets the setting established, the remainder of the story keeps one’s interest sparked by using good dialogue, humor, character traits and other techniques that evolve a story. The twist about the lesbian and a Catholic was a nice-small beat to the story.

I enjoyed to story very much and must say that I’ve read published stories that were not as good!!
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