Desert Fish by Matt Kolbet


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Joined: April 08, 2015, 08:22:39 PM

Post April 08, 2015, 08:37:23 PM

Desert Fish by Matt Kolbet

A deep psychological drama with well-rounded characters, especially the protagonist. I felt thoroughly grounded in reality right up until the moment Mary gets back-handed by Sam. And then I knew something was off the wall because nobody reacted, including Mary. Although, I have to admit my favorite part was when reality really bent and guys started turning into fish. I liked the use of foreshadowing at the very beginning just hinting at this eventual supernatural climax. I might have ended there myself or at least shortened the denouement. After all, once guys start turning into flying sand-fish in the middle of the desert, what more needs to be said?

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Post April 13, 2015, 12:07:52 PM

Re: Desert Fish by Matt Kolbet

Very good Devil wants your soul story. Nice subtle biblical reference to "40 Days in the desert". Come to think of it, that's not really subtle at all, is it? Also, how come whenever I picture an old guy in the desert who's name is Sam, I immediately think of Sam Elliott? The Dude abides, I guess.

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Post April 18, 2015, 11:29:07 AM

Re: Desert Fish by Matt Kolbet

The story had an interesting concept. However, for me, it had one major flaw: I think that the story was told from the wrong point of view. Through the course of the story, the only person significantly affected by the story's event was Jake. It was his loss of contact with his daughter that drove him. He was the one being turned into the fish. Not Mary. Nothing significant happened to Mary. The story could even have happened if Mary wasn't there, but a different person was there instead. Furthermore, the emotional weight of the story would be stronger if it was told from Jake's perspective.

Secondly, the story contained unnecessary bits that did not contribute to the story. Mary's thoughts of her ex-husband contributed nothing. Neither did Jake's two friends that Mary mentioned. Perhaps the author wanted to add depth to the story. However, this time around it didn't work. Jake's character wasn't furthered and neither did the story.

Thirdly, the author has to be careful when using flashbacks. The author did not make it obvious that the setting has changed. The transition between the story's time and Mary's flashback wasn't smooth. It pulled me out of the story.

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