The Replacement by Roy Dorman


Tell us what you think about the December 2014-January 2015 double issue!

Moderator: Editors

User avatar

Editor at Large

Posts: 750

Joined: March 01, 2014, 05:11:50 PM

Location: Just look under your bed

Post December 07, 2014, 08:07:31 PM

The Replacement by Roy Dorman

First let me offer overall kudos to Roy. He had already earned a spot in my section for December when I was asked to do selections for "Best of 2014". As I looked back I found that one of his stories made my top 4 and would be included in that group. Upon release I find he got into the shorts section as well. Good job man!

SPOILERS

This story is well written. The actual story is horrifying. The bad guy kills and benefits without consequence. Then when we think he is going to get his by being taken it turns out he goes from getting a house and money to possibly being nothing short of a galactic god. Every story doesn't have a happy ending and this one got me because I was thinking sci-fi and you snuck some nihilistic horror into my head. Nice Roy!
Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. – Neil Gaiman

Commenter

Posts: 6

Joined: August 06, 2014, 10:49:16 AM

Post December 08, 2014, 02:14:37 PM

Re: The Replacement by Roy Dorman

Thanks for your support, Eddie. It's appreciated.

Junior Critic

Posts: 62

Joined: October 17, 2013, 12:09:46 PM

Location: Mid-Atlantic U. S.

Post December 08, 2014, 11:37:04 PM

Re: The Replacement by Roy Dorman

I like this cautionary tale. Greedy heir, rich uncle, death by accelerated natural causes, and arrogant nephew gets his comeuppance. I am pondering the conclusion—it’s a bit ambiguous.

There’s no profanity, sex, or violence to disturb the grandchildren. It might even inspire them to respect their elders.

Mr. Dorman again gives us an entertaining story. Enjoy.
QW
User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2591

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post January 01, 2015, 05:59:29 PM

Re: The Replacement by Roy Dorman

This story is decently written, and has a fairly refreshing plot.

My biggest problem with it was the use of quotes instead of italics to indicate internal thought. Once I had that figured out, it wasn't bad, until I got to this:
"Wow," thought Vincent. "We've been using aggression as the 'Mr. Fix-it' for probably a million years and it sounds like these people, except for the few who've studied us a bit, aren't familiar with the concept of violence." He found himself rubbing his hands together and chortling. "If the wrong person, or in this case, me, the right person, could get control of things, he'd have it made."
I'm still not sure if that final quote was meant to be verbalized or an internal thought; the following paragraph seems to point to the latter.

The poor aliens should have done a bit more research before choosing someone to help them out, but at least Vincent is with them now instead of with us.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

Return to December 2014-January 2015

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.