Putting on the Show by Ed Sullivan


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Post September 25, 2014, 01:13:08 AM

Putting on the Show by Ed Sullivan

I'm afraid I can't comment much on this one because I can't figure out what it's supposed to be about (though there are hints).

So, I'll point out one of the problems it had.
The merchant's voice had an annoying buzz whenever he spoke, "My apologies, Signor. It is my wife. She is very ill. She doesn't know what she is doing. I am afraid she is in bed and cannot come to the door."

"No, I am not. I know exactly what I am doing! He is a monster!"

This stopped me, and I had to go back and forth a couple times to figure out that the second person is the guy's wife. Simple fix: give it an attribute tag.

As to the rest of it, well, the story just doesn't seem to go anywhere.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?
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Post September 25, 2014, 06:37:52 AM

Re: Putting on the Show by Ed Sullivan

Perhaps too much of an inside joke. Another of my crazy writing exercises I am afraid. I will allow a little more time to see if anyone gets it then spill the beans.
Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. – Neil Gaiman

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Post September 25, 2014, 08:57:42 PM

Re: Putting on the Show by Ed Sullivan

Punch and Judy” is the name that comes to mind; this story of the quarrelsome couple was part of classic European street entertainment for centuries. Puppeteers staged it with marionettes. Think opera and commedia dell’arte. Stravinsky’s ballet Pulchinella uses the named character. Punch bears some resemblance to Mr. Sullivan’s “funny man.”
Good title and good story.
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Post September 25, 2014, 09:08:54 PM

Re: Putting on the Show by Ed Sullivan

I was wondering if my concept was too obtuse. I was about to ask I.Verse to take a look because I know they are more prevalent in the UK. There is tons of inside jokes in there. If you want to track them down you should probably at least peruse Wikipedia's Punch and Judy page. Additionally I wrote this piece under the pseudonym Sara Mouche but it went over the heads of Horrified Press for their Dark Fairy Tales series. Honestly I didn't expect everyone to get it, I just expected those who got it to like it!
Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. – Neil Gaiman
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Post October 02, 2014, 06:51:09 PM

Re: Putting on the Show by Ed Sullivan

Basically I am a crazy idea floozy. If you get my attention and challenge me I am going to try anything. Sometimes I just hit random on wikipedia till something clicks!
Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong. – Neil Gaiman

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