Hurricane Music by Lea Ann Douglas


Tell us what you thought about the June 2005 issue!

Moderator: Editors

User avatar

Master Critic

Posts: 550

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Atlanta, GA

Post June 17, 2005, 01:07:31 PM

Hurricane Music by Lea Ann Douglas

Okay, I first thought the large gaps were done purposefully. Then I realized there are some serious formatting issues with this particular story. I don't think it would be fair to the author if I critiqued it in its current state.<br><br>Can someone look into this? The story began with such promise. It's a shame to have it marred in such a fashion.<br>
"Even the straight arrow needs a crooked bow."
- Samani


jaimie l. elliott

[b:2o4dvkjg]Check out my website:[/b:2o4dvkjg]
http://www.jaimie.org/
User avatar

Editor Emeritus

Posts: 2379

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Post June 17, 2005, 06:37:53 PM

Re: Hurricane Music by Lea Ann Douglas

It's fixed -- I think ... for some reason, some code that should have said 13.0pt said 130pt (hence the spacing was 10 times larger than it should have been).<br><br>Be sure to hit your 'reload' button or CTRL-R to make sure you're seeing the updated version.<br><br>Robert M.
You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club.

Jack London (1876-1916)
User avatar

Editor Emeritus

Posts: 3244

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Kaukauna, Wisconsin (USA)

Post June 30, 2005, 11:39:25 PM

Re: Hurricane Music by Lea Ann Douglas

In a nutshell, this is a tale about 2 aliens waiting out a hurricane with a rather startled bartender.<br><br>This tale is much more than that, however. Three separate POVs cycle throughout, telling the complete story from each character's perspective. The ambitious retelling from each POV may be the greatest asset in this story, in that the reader is, in a sense, told three separate stories rolled into one. Each POV was decidedly unique and interesting, and (especially for the backstory of how they all came to be together), I enjoyed the dissimilar interpretations.<br><br>On the down side, unfortunately, the events to be interpreted from each viewpoint were the same set of events, and not three separate plot streams that happened to meet at the conclusion. After a while, reading everything three times over started to bug me, and, IMO, to drag the pace of things.<br><br>Largely, only the Alpi seemed to enage the other "human" senses beyond sight and sound. It's constant cataloging of sensory input such as smells and temperatures made the world that it perceived to be more concrete and real to me than those perceptions gathered by Georgie (until the very end) or Finn, which was odd, since the Alpi understood almost none of what it took in. Finn, on the other hand, knew just about everything that was going on, but the scene didn't seem real to me from his own viewpoint.<br><br>These characters seemed to be from a much larger universe than was represented here. It certainly was a lot to take in, and I don't think I understood it all. In that regard, I found Finn to be a little less believable. He was, if I understand this correctly, a nobleman used to easier life, living the life of a warrior, and badly, I might add. He chided himself for not testing his mettle in the storm, but then went all serious and heavy-handed when he saw the Alpi. In the end, however, he did very little that was warrior-like, besides waggle a sword around before fainting. He didn't even catch the Alpi, even though it sat at the bar for hours and waited while he was unconscious. Whatever training he took, he might want a refresher course. Maybe he was supposed to be poor at his job, but if that was the case, I would have thought he would have been more unsure, more nervous.<br><br>I understood what an Alpi was, but not why someone would need such information. It records Finn's memories and feelings, but I didn't catch how that can be useful to someone else. All that I could conclude was that this was part of the story that I didn't see.<br><br>On plot, the story rings true enough, but I think because not a lot really happens. Two aliens who don't like each other and a human woman wait out a storm. The building is struck by lightening and one alien faints. While he is unconscious, the other alien reads his mind. The storm ends, one escapes and the other leaves. Boiled down, that seemed to be really all that transpired. In any case, there's not terribly much to cram into a conflict-resolution model, and Georgie shooting the ceiling was not a particularly gripping climax.<br><br><br>Perhaps I missed something that would have made it all clear, but it was certainly worth reading. That is, the story seemed to do all that it tried to do well enough, but for me it seemed to be missing something that would give the event more emotional significance.<br><br>My 2¢.<br><br>Nate
Last edited by kailhofer on June 30, 2005, 11:40:32 PM, edited 1 time in total.
Hardcover, paperback, pdf, eBook, iBook, Nook, and now Kindle & Kobo!
Image
A cooperative effort between 17 Aphelion authors. No part of any sales go to Aphelion.

Post July 06, 2005, 02:43:06 PM

Re: Hurricane Music by Lea Ann Douglas

To any reader who finds this story confusing it would indeed be helpful to read more backstory - there is a LOT of it, believe me! So hopefully Aphelion will publish more of the lovely Ms. Douglas' stories to help us better appreciate her particular genius. Rumor has it that we'll soon be treated to a more lengthy (and more explanatory) story some time later this year... Keep your eyes peeled and start the requesting process everyone!

Return to June 2005

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.