Three Worlds by Ed Sullivan


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Post July 04, 2014, 05:59:59 PM

Re: Three Worlds by Ed Sullivan

The last scene has very little connection with the rest of the story, and that connection is only whatever the reader supplies. Oh, yeah, it's that third world suggested by the title. Sorry, that isn't enough.

I did have to laugh at the quote:
Told you so!

I also enjoyed the statements by the various world leaders. You have a nice touch with humor.

You could have left this as a pure cautionary tale about hubris and it would have been better. You've got a few word choices that need reworked. Learn from your mistakes, Eddie; I already know you'll keep writing.
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Post July 05, 2014, 12:41:18 PM

Re: Three Worlds by Ed Sullivan

Mark Edgemon wrote:You have become quite a talented reviewer/critiquer, Lester! Lots of compassion in these critiques tonight, relating to the writer's feelings and yet hard, sound advice to improve their craft.

Top Notch!

Thanks, Mark. It doesn't happen passively; at least for me it didn't. I learned a lot of this by participating in critique groups, and I still have more to learn.

Sometimes I'll read a piece and the first thing that comes to my mind is, "That's awful!" (or something worse). Those are the hard ones (along with the ones that are so good you just want to hop up and down and grin). I have to make myself study the thing to find something helpful to say about it.
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Post July 05, 2014, 11:38:17 PM

Re: Three Worlds by Ed Sullivan

EddieSullivan wrote:I hope I at least wasn't the first if I couldn't be the second.

Not to worry. I've written worse stuff myself. I'm just not gonna tell you where to find it. :lol:
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Post July 06, 2014, 12:56:18 PM

Re: Three Worlds by Ed Sullivan

EddieSullivan wrote:Ha now I do feel better. THANKS LESTER! Now to Google to find the literary equivalent of your sex tapes! :lol:

There is a little of that, actually, but that's not the worst writing I've done. Please make the distinction between naughty and badly-written. (All right, some of that was badly written, too.) :lol:

Now and again I need to remind myself of my early efforts. Otherwise I might chew someone out for doing a thing wrong, when they'd never been taught to do it right.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

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