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Immunity by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 06, 2014, 07:56:37 AM
by EddieSullivan
Exceptional. Well written. Story is good and end is great. I do think you may alienate some readers unnecessarily with what seems to be commentary on Obamacare. It is best not to seem to preach on any issue which is volatile so you don't put off a potential audience. But that is my opinion on writing etiquette which could also be deemed preachy. So only take it for what it is worth.

Re: Immunity by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 06, 2014, 09:14:29 PM
by gino_ss
Thanks Eddie,

Re: Obamacare. Folks in my age group will not be as affected because we have Medicare. Obamacare is here to stay, and the rest of you will have a tough road ahead.

gino

pet peeve

PostPosted: May 27, 2014, 01:04:23 PM
by vates
This
E.S. Strout in 'Immunity' wrote:"I could call in a few markers, Emily. What do you have in mind?

She explained.

He nodded. "I'll start making calls to people I trust right now. We must act at once and be the soul of caution."

breaks the narrative point of view.

Re: Immunity by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 27, 2014, 07:41:11 PM
by gino_ss
Thank you for the comment, vates. POV interruption or not, these passages help move the story on to its inevitable conclusion.

gino

Re: Immunity by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 27, 2014, 07:45:48 PM
by Lester Curtis
I thought this was just a tiny bit shrill and over-dramatic, but I like the way it ended.

Actually, I was hoping the Fat Bastard would somehow contract HIV himself--and then be put on a twenty-year waiting list for treatment. >:D

Re: Immunity by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 28, 2014, 10:38:50 AM
by gino_ss
Thanks, Lester. That could be an alternate ending. Obamacare strikes again.

gino

Re: Immunity by E.S. Strout

PostPosted: May 31, 2014, 10:50:49 PM
by Mark Edgemon
You're really gifted, Gino! Your body of stories should be in a literary collection and illustrated.