Post February 06, 2014, 01:00:59 PM

The Writers Workshop by Kurt Heinrich Hyatt

A capital piece of work from Mr. Hyatt. I know exactly what those groups are like; I dropped out of one.

He's done an especially nice job with the setting; a single word or short phrase here and there, and you know right where (and when) you're at. Pacing, flow, characterization and dialog are all very good.

I have a personal problem with the primary plot mechanism, the drug. My suspension of disbelief isn't willing enough to swallow that pill (begging your pardon).

Aside from that, I really did enjoy it, and this is still a very well-written story.

The only mechanical problem that stuck out at me was
"Crouching in the ruins of the dead city Popeye listened to the wind blowing from Kaol, a few hundred haads to the East and the roars of the ba'aths, the great hunting lions of

Barsoom." If you are going to plagiarize Edgar Rice Burroughs, at least get the names of his characters straight, I mused sourly. It's banth, not ba'ath, you mediocre hack.

Looks like an errant paragraph return; no biggie. And, I'd have italicized the internal monolog.

Good job!
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?