Difference by David Delaney

Tell us what you think of the December 2013 issue!

Moderator: Editors

User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2668

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post December 26, 2013, 11:54:44 PM

Difference by David Delaney

I feel like I just woke up in the theater, having slept through the second half of the movie.

Lots of typos here.

The setting was pretty decent. Characterization was fair. Dialog wasn't too bad.

Plot, David. Work on plot. This story didn't seem to have one.
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?


Posts: 1

Joined: January 01, 2014, 07:43:07 AM

Post January 01, 2014, 07:48:02 AM

Re: Difference by David Delaney

Thanks for reading through my story. I agree, plot really isn't there but I wrote it as a snap shot type of tale. A quick look into a conversation or arguement and I just wanted to see where it went.

Will work on plot next time :D



Editor Emeritus

Posts: 2528

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Mass, USA

Post January 04, 2014, 10:33:25 PM

Re: Difference by David Delaney

Lester Curtis wrote:...
Plot, David. Work on plot. This story didn't seem to have one.

Ya know, I am going to softly disagree here. There is a plot. You can diagram it in nice, neat approved English Teacher fashion. Intro, rising tension, episodic conflict at the peak, and resolution.

But the thing is ... and this is perhaps a thing I have walked into for most of my reading life ... it's a "soft" plot. "The stuff is happening when there isn't something happening". The gut keeps itching for "something exciting!"

It used to be mentioned back in the days of the Star Trek paperback novels. (Your choice of series). A lot of them fell into the formula of "Some anomaly/weapon/war threatened the very fabric of all of space time if the Heroes didn't do twelve impossible things before page 247!!!!!" About three of them were exciting to read. Then it all wore a little thin. You wanted a story that stepped back from the brink and took a softer path through the forest of (sentient being) hearts. In this case, vampires.

Instead, tension about differences is always the enduring thing. Here, it's Vampires, seen out and past the glory writers like to put them in, and at equally boring settings as our protagonists. "Vampires" is of course the interchangeable word.

This tale has a mood to it that's a bit old school - it feels like pre social media. I think it shares parts of tones with Flannery O'Connor's "Everything That Rises Must Converge".

Return to December 2013

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.