The Apartments by Peter Cushnie


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Post December 27, 2013, 12:15:19 AM

The Apartments by Peter Cushnie

I like this story (all twenty stories of it). My only complaint might be that it was a little wordy in a couple spots.

Very good mechanically, but some of Alice's internal thoughts didn't get italicized, as they should. Nice job, though, showing her internal process.

I fully sympathize about the neighborhood issue; I've seen it happen in a couple of places I've lived. Farms sold off and turned into strip malls and tract housing. I just wonder what happened to the hoe.

Cute illustration. Nice job, Peter.
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Post January 04, 2014, 11:48:11 PM

Re: The Apartments by Peter Cushnie

Lester Curtis wrote:I like this story (all twenty stories of it). My only complaint might be that it was a little wordy in a couple spots.

Very good mechanically, but some of Alice's internal thoughts didn't get italicized, as they should. Nice job, though, showing her internal process.

I fully sympathize about the neighborhood issue; I've seen it happen in a couple of places I've lived. Farms sold off and turned into strip malls and tract housing. I just wonder what happened to the hoe.

Cute illustration. Nice job, Peter.


A couple more of disturbing points:
- By that point there should have been a couple of real estate booms, so either through lack of planning and savvy or just getting ground down into too many short term necessities, they could have had a big retirement nest egg at some point. Instead, all the years kept passing and they just couldn't pinpoint any moment to do anything about it.
- The tone hovers between Magical Realism whether the building is growing of its own, the ravages of senility, and straight metaphorical content. This might take a bit of work to fine tuning to be sure the correct author intents are being conveyed.

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Post January 19, 2014, 04:04:42 PM

Re: The Apartments by Peter Cushnie

To TaoPhoenix re his/her comment on my story "The Apartments"-- First, let me say thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my submission. It has been said that if you want to know the meaning of a story, the last person to ask is the author and I think there is truth in this. On the literal side, all your points are valid. The two elderly people my very well have been lacking in business acumen, but none of this is relevant. The tale is meant to be metaphor with a dash of the weird and unexplained. At least I think that's it, though sometimes a writer can't be sure. Again, thanks for your comments.

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Post January 25, 2014, 09:05:22 AM

Re: The Apartments by Peter Cushnie

peter cushnie wrote:To TaoPhoenix re his/her comment on my story "The Apartments"-- First, let me say thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my submission. It has been said that if you want to know the meaning of a story, the last person to ask is the author and I think there is truth in this. On the literal side, all your points are valid. The two elderly people my very well have been lacking in business acumen, but none of this is relevant. The tale is meant to be metaphor with a dash of the weird and unexplained. At least I think that's it, though sometimes a writer can't be sure. Again, thanks for your comments.


Hi Peter, and I am glad you chimed in!

I however do think an author should have a decent vision of a story!

Particularly when something hovers around "Magical Realism", it might indeed be relevant whether the characters have business acumen, because the audience always "fights the author".

In a pure mainstream story, "characters can do anything they want", but when the author takes the liberty to start adding "dashes of weird", the rules change, and it's important that the author knows which is which, and then hopes to convey that properly.

I think it's risky story-wise for the author to leave it too fuzzy and try to play both sides of the fence.

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