Operation Rugido Ratón by D.H. Richards


Tell us what you think of the November 2013 issue!

Moderator: Editors

User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2661

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post December 03, 2013, 09:46:11 PM

Operation Rugido Ratón by D.H. Richards

Ah, the triumph of the Third World -- AND socialism -- both at one stroke! Fun little story.

There's a problem with the premise, though, I think: surveillance satellites, as in, ours. They'd have seen all this stuff in preparation WAY long before it was anywhere near to being ready to go. In detail. After all, a rocket capable of launching, uh, eight point fifty-four-plus astronauts (average) is not something that's easily hidden, not to mention the very considerable support and launch facilities, the assembly building big enough to generate its own internal weather, etc., etc. Times one hundred seventeen. You don't just prop a Saturn V up in the middle of a beanfield and light a fuse under it. I'd think the whole island would have been surrounded by the US Navy months before. So, no need to send a guy on the ground posing as a tourista.

I did like the idea of using a laptop with a single operator to control the launch; I'm just not sure that's altogether plausible either, unless the whole launch sequence is largely automated. And what happens in the very likely event that one or more of those launches is held or aborted? There are thousands of details that all have to be perfectly right, after all.

All that aside, how does Cuba get the money for 117 of these -- all at once? Oh, wait -- I know -- cheap labor!

The strangest thing about this story, though, was the careless editing; not what I'd expect from a college professor. Missing words, missing punctuation. "Senior" for "señor". Proofread, sir; first impressions are important.

There was a lot of nicely-thought-out detail in the way the MC carried out his spying. This kind of attention would be very good in a story that had more plausibility.

Keep trying!
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

Editor Emeritus

Posts: 805

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Post December 08, 2013, 01:44:19 PM

Re: Operation Rugido Ratón by D.H. Richards

I liked the setup, I thought the author did a good job of giving a sense of place at the beginning, but I have to agree with Lester on the plausibility of the ending. It seems pretty far-fetched. It changed the story from a somewhat realistic espionage tale to something of a parody.

And the typos were pretty distracting and at times confusing.

Lisa's extend hand

not big deal

sat down to the only other person he had met

aren't ALL the tour guide government agents?

"Walter?" He nodded. "Here." She handed him a small glass of water,

All day he had heard distant voice

Of course you will senior

Very funny senior

get anyone up there for a year so

You know damn well if you launch anything we'll have missile up your ass so damn fast…"

we wuped your sorry butts


Who is Niles? The name appears in the story three times in reference to Wally. Was Niles supposed to be Wally's real name or was that his name in an earlier draft of the story that didn't get changed?

Wuped should probably be spelled whupped.

I will say that the story made me think of Heinlein's novel Rocket Ship Galileo in which a professor and three teenaged boys build a rocket that they take to the moon only to discover that Nazis have already built a base there.

John

Return to November 2013

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.