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The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: October 31, 2013, 12:27:29 PM
by Verse
The Cinderella Deception

You should always try something new, at least once, even if you think you aren't going to like it.

I wrote this piece for a short story competition a while back and the brief was to write a fairy tale in a steampunk style.

1) I'm not a fan of the steampunk genre. Mainly because the physics don't add up for giant steam powered mechanoids, which is disappointing. That said, I love, Love, LOVE 'Girl Genius'.

2) I am not a fan of retelling fairy tales. This is more a reaction against the trend of taking a well known fairy tale and giving it an urban fantasy / magical realism / hipster spin (Daily Science Fiction, I mean YOU!).

But, what the heck, I thought I'd give it a go and twist it up in my own sick little way. I packed every Steampunk cliche I could think of into it and it still turned out not half bad. In fact, I rather like it, which is probably a bad sign because usually when I have wrestled with a short story long enough I can no longer tell if I love it or hate it, I'm usually just glad to be done with it.

November 1st tomorrow and I will be starting the NaNoWriMo challenge. If I last a week I will be pleased. Maybe I'll see some familiar pen names there?

:)

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: October 31, 2013, 05:04:51 PM
by Mark Edgemon
Verse wrote:The Cinderella Deception

You should always try something new, at least once, even if you think you aren't going to like it.

I wrote this piece for a short story competition a while back and the brief was to write a fairy tale in a steampunk style.

1) I'm not a fan of the steampunk genre. Mainly because the physics don't add up for giant steam powered mechanoids, which is disappointing. That said, I love, Love, LOVE 'Girl Genius'.

2) I am not a fan of retelling fairy tales. This is more a reaction against the trend of taking a well known fairy tale and giving it an urban fantasy / magical realism / hipster spin (Daily Science Fiction, I mean YOU!).

But, what the heck, I thought I'd give it a go and twist it up in my own sick little way. I packed every Steampunk cliche I could think of into it and it still turned out not half bad. In fact, I rather like it, which is probably a bad sign because usually when I have wrestled with a short story long enough I can no longer tell if I love it or hate it, I'm usually just glad to be done with it.

November 1st tomorrow and I will be starting the NaNoWriMo challenge. If I last a week I will be pleased. Maybe I'll see some familiar pen names there?

:)

You know, this is really a much better way to go - for the author to make the first introductory post on their own story, giving the Aphelion audience insight to the creation of the story (creative process) and a synopsis to trigger interest.

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: October 31, 2013, 11:30:32 PM
by Wormtongue
It is good, Mark, and if the author feels comfortable doing so, great. Let us not put too much pressure on people, though, particularly new authors.

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: November 06, 2013, 01:23:52 AM
by Mark Edgemon
Wormtongue wrote:It is good, Mark, and if the author feels comfortable doing so, great. Let us not put too much pressure on people, though, particularly new authors.

I don't know Iain - it seems to be working! A little pressure - a challenge may be just the thing a creator needs to learn to launch their own works.

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: November 13, 2013, 10:11:26 PM
by Lester Curtis
"Fractured Fairytales," anyone?

Verse, you're still hard to beat, even when you dislike what you're doing. This was great. I really enjoyed seeing Prince Charming as a sick, vicious bastard. I just wished you'd finished him off. Since you didn't, though, that leaves room for a sequel . . .

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: November 14, 2013, 12:29:41 AM
by Wormtongue
Lester Curtis wrote:"Fractured Fairytales," anyone?

Verse, you're still hard to beat, even when you dislike what you're doing. This was great. I really enjoyed seeing Prince Charming as a sick, vicious bastard. I just wished you'd finished him off. Since you didn't, though, that leaves room for a sequel . . .


Lester - you forget that Charming is also a two (or three-) timing womaniser: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella... The beggar got around!

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: November 14, 2013, 01:41:06 AM
by Mark Edgemon
Wormtongue wrote:
Lester Curtis wrote:"Fractured Fairytales," anyone?

Verse, you're still hard to beat, even when you dislike what you're doing. This was great. I really enjoyed seeing Prince Charming as a sick, vicious bastard. I just wished you'd finished him off. Since you didn't, though, that leaves room for a sequel . . .


Lester - you forget that Charming is also a two (or three-) timing womaniser: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella... The beggar got around!

Ha! An astute observation! That is really clever!

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: November 19, 2013, 11:09:38 PM
by davidsonhero
This was a great read Verse! I enjoyed it. And I would love to read some sequels (if you can bear writing them) in the vein of what the others were talking about. Tell us the stories of how your Prince Charming gets burned by not just Cinderella, but Steampunk Snow White and Sleeping Beauty as well. Maybe by the end he'll learn his lesson. :D

John

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: November 20, 2013, 03:37:08 PM
by Verse
He! Charming does make for a great villain and Wormtongue's idea to make him a serial princess womaniser had a lot of merit.

Unfortunately, I'm still full steam ahead on NaNoWriMo until the end of this month and next month is Xmas, so not much is going to happen then.

If anyone else wants to pick up the baton, then that is cool with me.

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: November 20, 2013, 04:32:27 PM
by Mark Edgemon
Verse wrote:He! Charming does make for a great villain and Wormtongue's idea to make him a serial princes womaniser had a lot of merit.

Unfortunately, I'm still full steam ahead on NaNoWriMo until the end of this month and next month is Xmas, so not much is going to happen then.

If anyone else wants to pick up the baton, then that is cool with me.

Oh God, if I only had the time, this would be so good to create within your storyline

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: November 20, 2013, 06:31:33 PM
by davidsonhero
Verse wrote:Unfortunately, I'm still full steam ahead on NaNoWriMo until the end of this month...


Oh, you just had to bring that up! :P

John

A Cinderella Twist

PostPosted: November 21, 2013, 03:59:42 PM
by Mark Edgemon
Here is a concept for a story.

After leaving her glass slipper behind, Prince Charming does the searching for Cinderella bit to find her in her peasant clothes and her two ugly step sisters (who are actually Sleeping Beautfy and Snow White in disguise) are waiting for him as expected. They tie him up and torture him as only scorned women can.

All of this con be found in the new full length Cinderella tale, "When the Shoe is On the Other Foot" coming soon to a bed time night stand near you!

Re: The Cinderella Deception by I. Verse

PostPosted: November 21, 2013, 04:21:03 PM
by Verse
Despite my best intentions, a plot is worming itself in between my flea bitten ears.

Charming comes to France, in search of Cinderella and her sisters. By chance, he becomes embroiled in union action. Miners striking due to the cruelty and terrible conditions in which they must work, most of them are deformed and crippled, taken as they are from orphanages and stunted by the conditions and bad food.

The mine owner is a haughty aristocrat, with pale skin and black hair, a beauty who enslaves men with her charisma and charm. She is of course Snowwhite. She offers to help Charming in his search, providing resources and intel if he will help her break the strike by killing the union leader, a woman who had the misfortune to be her stepmother and knows just what corruption lays under Snowwhite's perfect fa├žade. The old women is helping the miners by smuggling them fresh fruit and vegetables to supplement their appalling diet, predominately apples.

Charming agrees, infiltrates the miners union and kills the old woman. Stealing her basket of apples before he can uncover the old woman's plans, to poison Snowwhite by sneaking the apples into her villa. Charming brings an apple to Snowwhite as proof that he has done the deed, unwittingly handing Snowwhite the instrument of her own destruction and carrying out the old woman's plan after all.

Snowwhite dies and Charming gets the hell out of dodge, no worse and no better than when he arrived and still hunting our fair Cinders.