Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill


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Post September 21, 2013, 12:08:39 PM

Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

This is a charming fable, a sequel to the previous tale of Shirasawa, the maple tree spirit wanderer.

In this tale, the young spirit girl is on a quest for the spirit of her lover. She encounters an old witch, and for a while is a prisoner. But Shirasawa is a quick study, and learns several useful lessons, which both save and change her life.

Told in an authentic voice, this story will leave you thinking about the power of knowing, and the ways in which knowledge can transform innocence.

Kate
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Post September 23, 2013, 09:45:06 AM

Re: Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

Kate,

Thank you very much for the kind words and for the nice tie-in with (i.e. "plug of") the previous Shirasawa story. :-)

Shirasawa's tale (and the small world created for her) are ones I often like to visit in between my work on longer pieces. She's just a fun character to write and I really enjoy "watching" her overcome her naivete with a mixture of subtle strength and sharp wit.

Glad to see that other are enjoying her journey as well. Thank you again for the kind words!
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Post September 25, 2013, 05:21:12 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

Nice job, Jay! The descriptive prose is very rich, and I rather liked the little life-lessons about the duality of things and the transformative power (both figurative and literal) of a will to overcome.
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Post September 26, 2013, 12:39:09 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

Well thank you sir! Those are very kind words indeed.

And glad you enjoyed the story. Hopefully, there will be many more adventures for young Shirasawa! :-)

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Post September 27, 2013, 11:57:33 AM

Re: Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

Kate_Thornton wrote:Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill
This is a charming fable,

True, but ...
Kate_Thornton wrote:a sequel to the previous tale of Shirasawa, the maple tree spirit wanderer.

The point is: tree spirit.

(Spoilers ahead)

Thing is, I was thinking about the spirit form almost immediately as the shackles closed on the protagonist. So, I think, should have she. For it is her very nature.

Thus, I believe, she could have escaped immediately. But then, the story would have kind of collapsed at that point.

That leaves me with the impression that the author has sacrificed the integrity of his main character on the altar of the plot..

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Post September 27, 2013, 12:12:32 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

Vates,

Interesting observation and thank you for reading the story so closely!

In this instance, the "forgetfulness" on the protagonist's part was intentional. I wanted to use it as a means of conveying how "lost" she was without Miyabe (so lost in fact, that she forgot her true nature).

Now arguably, I could have done a better job explicating that in the text, but the move was in fact, intentional.

...And yes, I know that sounds awfully convenient, coming after your comment, but I have outlined several more stories for Shirasawa and both of the next two continue to address the development of her "post-Miyabe" identity.

In other words, she's still "finding her way" in the world, and part of that involves remembering who she is!

Hope that helps, and thanks again for reading the story!!!
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Post September 27, 2013, 04:41:19 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

Jay,
I can see Vates' point, but that didn't bother me; the way you covered it was quite satisfactory. Thing is, though, after this experience, she's not going to let herself be caught like that again.

I do look forward to the subsequent episodes; the challenges now have to get bigger!
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Post September 30, 2013, 10:03:21 PM

Re: Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

Jay,

Nicely written. There's a lot of beautiful description in this story. It takes it's time, and there's not a lot of action really, but it's very character focused so that seems to work fine.

It looks like you have an extra "to" in the following paragraph:
"Firewood!" the crone barked. "And be quicker about it. Much quicker, unless you want to the staff to teach you things you never thought you'd learn. The ache of a broken bone or two might do you some good."


I did find myself wondering after I read the line "Pain and duress, force and will, the human condition answers these with obedience," if this is universally true. It's seems to be a pretty philosophically broad claim for the narrator to make. It just made me wonder some. :)

I missed your previous story about this character. I'll have to put it on my to-read list along with all my McCamy Taylor ebooks. :lol:

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Post October 01, 2013, 11:35:23 AM

Re: Shirasawa's Rage by Jay Hill

Good catch on the extra "to". Well-spotted, indeed!

As for waxing philosophical there near the end... sorry 'bout that. It's a bad habit of mine, and I notice it's getting worse as I get older! :-)

Thanks for reading the story, and thank you for the kind words about it!

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