Power By E. S. Strout


Tell us what you thought about the May 2013 issue!

Moderator: Editors

Archive Editor

Posts: 2435

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Mass, USA

Post May 22, 2013, 04:47:55 PM

Power By E. S. Strout

Thread Opener.

Archive Editor

Posts: 2435

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Mass, USA

Post May 23, 2013, 04:49:56 AM

Re: Power By E. S. Strout

Cute little spin on the First Contact With Aliens theme. Far from being interstellar menaces, apparently they are only "The B Team" of aliens!
:)

Senior Critic

Posts: 263

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: California

Post May 24, 2013, 07:41:30 PM

Re: Power By E. S. Strout

Thanks, Tao. Yeah, as well as being interstellar klutzes, they were the same with diplomacy. As protagonist Adrian Maas said, "Why didn't they just ask? We could have shared technology."

gino
User avatar

Long Fiction Editor

Posts: 2486

Joined: January 11, 2010, 12:03:56 AM

Location: by the time you read this, I'll be somewhere else

Post June 04, 2013, 10:21:17 PM

Re: Power By E. S. Strout

I thought this whole story was in just too much of a hurry to get finished. Examples:

thirty three year-old slim, dark haired and hazel-eyed Susan Grant, M.D. said.


Thirty-four year old subatomic particle physicist Adrian Maas


The five-foot ten inch sandy-haired rail-thin researcher smiled


I think Gino's stories would benefit if he slowed them down some. Let the readers catch their breath.

Funny thing about those aliens; they just barely had their own language. They borrowed Greek to name their spacecraft. Who'd they swipe the FTL from? And how'd they manage to work it without help?

And someone's going to be in BIG trouble for stealing my credit-card number:
7146 3214 8804 9601
JUST KIDDING :lol:
I was raised by humans. What's your excuse?

Senior Critic

Posts: 263

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: California

Post June 05, 2013, 07:15:16 PM

Re: Power By E. S. Strout

Thanks for your incisive comments, Lester. I must have fallen asleep when they discussed multiple descriptives in the freshman writing course I took a thousand years ago.

gino

Archive Editor

Posts: 2435

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: Mass, USA

Post June 06, 2013, 01:42:15 PM

Re: Power By E. S. Strout

Lester Curtis wrote:I thought this whole story was in just too much of a hurry to get finished. Examples:
...
I think Gino's stories would benefit if he slowed them down some. Let the readers catch their breath.


I've been pondering story lengths on and off for a long time. Suppose certain writers are just best at certain lengths. A lot of that is implied by the deep overall pacing. So suppose Gino is in fact best at stories of X length. But then your comment reminds me of a boxer trying to skimp one more pound of water weight, which may actually weaken overall strength. So I haven't done a word count yet, but just suppose you take each of those examples and make three sentences out of each adjective.

Critic

Posts: 123

Joined: January 04, 2013, 11:48:08 AM

Post June 13, 2013, 10:19:50 PM

Re: Power By E. S. Strout

I've been reading through this month's stories in order... and that being the case, it took me a little bit to get down to this one on the list.

But man, oh man was it worth the wait!!! I don't know that there's a hugely original premise or "set-up" for this piece, it's a "classic" treatment as the lead in describes, but...

What it lacks in that category it certainly makes up for in execution. I couldn't stop reading. The pace was great, the detail was just the right amount and the amount of peripheral information (right from the opening sequence about "star[s] in a binary system") was delivered at just the right time, and just the right amount to draw me in and nudge me along.

And the conclusion with the final lines about the antique Thunderbird and the return to the "power" theme of the title, wow! I wanted to go back and read it all over again.

There were some really good stories this month, but all in all, this one was my favorite.

It worked as a good overall read, while reaching for something more, invoking some nice bits of nostalgia. Great stuff!

Senior Critic

Posts: 263

Joined: December 31, 1969, 08:00:00 PM

Location: California

Post June 14, 2013, 07:41:30 PM

Re: Power By E. S. Strout

Thanks for the kind comments, Jay. I try to keep my stories tight, in other words not leaving any significant gaps or lags.

gino

Return to May 2013

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware.