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Modification Program By Adam Folgers

PostPosted: December 20, 2012, 08:10:25 PM
by TaoPhoenix

Re: Modification Program By Adam Folgers

PostPosted: December 21, 2012, 10:48:46 AM
by TaoPhoenix
This is the only First-Person tale I have looked at in a while. Far be it from me to guess sample sizes, but it's a rarer form not least because of the difficulty pulling off the technique. I haven't clarified the differences of how that style makes me feel vs the traditional third person. Hmm.

The author does a decent job of using consumer items to depict California in some timeframe such as 2040. (Historically it's real tough to predict future dates like that because the pace of progress gets jammed up for social-political reasons, but Teslas and HoloBots aren't all that hard to do, SF wise, so thirty years feels like a nice time frame in the future. It doesn't seem to matter if that stretches out to 2050 etc.)

So we have a burnt out prison guard, who carefully calls himself a correctional officer. (There's a connotation somewhere - does he need that little boost of P.C. terminology to get by?) The pacing is methodical, for various reasons. I think it works here - I don't mind a little orientation to get used to being in "California, 2040", before the main point of the story arrives. Not every story needs to open with "Once upon a time, a 10 year old girl named Hannah woke up, whereupon the evil demon spider sitting on her bed bit her head off."

-- About 2/3 of the way through I at least am suspecting a chance for an ending like "the lead character is himself just in a punishment program." Everything in control, all inner monologues. Update: Yep. Called it. So overall, not bad, it's only up to the author if he wanted it to be more of a surprise or if he wants the reader to slowly figure it out first like I did. If he didn't, it's not clear to me how to fix it.

Re: Modification Program By Adam Folgers

PostPosted: December 21, 2012, 02:24:04 PM
by regrehan
If this is the author's first, then kudos to him. Solid storytelling, as far as I'm concerned. In addition, I appreciate an author who takes me into an environment I've never been in, and does it with the kind of confidence this fellow displays. I had it figured out (well, suspected at least) a little over half of the way through, but that didn't detract from the story.

Hope to see more of this author's work.

Re: Modification Program By Adam Folgers

PostPosted: December 21, 2012, 08:37:34 PM
by Lester Curtis
Twilight Zone theme, but the execution (excuse me) is definitely not TZ -- maybe more like Dragnet -- if Dragnet had a Dark Side.

I thought it was a little heavy on jargon, but not to the point of being hard to follow; that gives it an authentic flavor, too. The characters are very convincing.

In the end, I can't help thinking that this C/O's life truly is so shitty that it could logically be considered as punishment for some scumbag. And -- shades of Seanan's article this month -- I do hope the author's life is better than this.

Excellent first effort!

Re: Modification Program By Adam Folgers

PostPosted: January 01, 2013, 04:48:54 AM
by TurnKey
I'm glad that a few folks have read the story, and thank you for taking the time to post reviews.