Post May 14, 2007, 09:25:23 AM

The Way of the Warrior by Michael G. McLaughlin

http://www.aphelion-webzine.com/shorts/ ... rrior.html

There are two mythological motifs combined in this story: the Amazonian warrior woman and rise of the champion from obscurity. It's an interesting take to intertwine the themes, although it has been done before, a notable example being Éowyn from The Lord of the Rings.

The author attempts to convey a Celtic Fantasy in High Fantasy style, where the narrative is meant to be archaic and even lyrical. However, the story suffers from an issue often associated with High Fantasy: telling versus showing. It isn't until the final scene when the action isn't bogged own by backdrop. Also, the prose, while intended to be lyrical and epic, comes off as amateurish and awkward. The dialog is especially poorly written. The numerous GSP issues throughout the story only reinforces that perception.

Structurally, the story is sound. There is a likable protagonist. The scope of the story is concise with a defined obstacle and a definite resolution. The characters grows over the course of the story. The elements exists for a better tale, albeit one requiring a lot of editing.
"Even the straight arrow needs a crooked bow."
- Samani


jaimie l. elliott

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